hey, why would we be upset with you?

and its good that you are talking to your mom. you're taking control of yourself again, and thats good.

You are loved, and cared about.  I wish the best for you, I really do.

~Tons of love

You can beat this disease.  *HUGS*

~Tons of love

i don't want to sound like a hypocrite since i've been dealing with anorexia and bulimia for almost 9 years now, so i almost didn't comment.

but seeing where you're at right now and not commenting would have been wrong on my part. there always needs to be a stopping point. you need to know that. when your body is failing you obviously it's time to seek some help. easier said then done i know. when i was 15 i had to have a tube put down my throat just to hear you have no lining in your stomach anymore, and you have a few holes in your stomach you need to quit purging or you will dye. it took something serious to make me realise i have to have a cut off limit. hon you're at that place now.

admitting you have anorexia is a big step, some women will never admit it even when it's to late.

get some help honey. tell a friend or family memeber you trust, it's easier if you can get a suport system going, go to a counsler, do something, before it's to late.

love you, said a prayer for you.

u may not no it but u have already taken the first step. u admitted that u r anorexic.

it is now up to u to decide wat u want to do about it. u have to options and i no u are already very aware of them.

i wish u the best of luck and if u need anything let me no. 

i get that feeling with my razorblade.

but honestly once you've ignored its pleading, screaming and crying it gets easier to let go of it.

try going for a week, then a month, then 3....

I believe in you

x

You can beat this, it doesn't have to beat you.  You don't have to obey if you don't want to, it's YOUR life, fight for it.

~Tons of love

My computer won't let me change fonts either! What's the deal?

Anyway, down to the important issue. Of course your eating disorder isn't ready to stop. It probably never will be. There just has to come a point when your will is stronger. (I wouldn't know though because this hasn't happened to me yet either). You can always aim me. My name is fatassgoesthin. (That goes for any pro ana or pro mia chicas {But not any sick fucks who think they can change us, preach to us, or the like b/c it won't work and i'll block you})

awww.. well at least they come up easy.. if you purge..

this is tru
alot of the times parents dont realize that there making things worse
but u are not good for nothing
u are very much so good for alot of things

[raspberrycola]

damn hon!

maybe if she read the history "mydeardiary" kinda gives it away as to what you're going on.

cutting again? that's not going to make things better.

WOW I'm such a hypocrite! I can't believe I just said that. I know how the blade makes the control come back.

you're better than nothing.

we all know that.

thinking of you

xx..xx..xx

thats exactly what my parents did to me when they found that i was mia
there ass holes
thats why im not telling them im ana now, please dont worry huni it'll get better with time trust me

stay strong

much love Amanda xxx

these pics are so awesome.

wish i was like the girls in pics: 2, 4, 7, 9

but not the last one, whoa that freaked me out a little bit

if only i was like these girls... then maybe i wouldn't feel so whale-ish

*sigh*

I"m sorry things are so tough for you.

i've been following your diary for some time now.

I've never really commented tho.

I think you are so strong though and one day you WILL get what you want.

Just keep fighting.

stay strong

~cassidy~

Oh gosh honey...

I don't know what to tell you... ):

ily.x

aww huni i no how you feel parents can be ass holes

please stay strong
much love Amanda xxx

So maybe you should do everything in secret. Do it to where you KNO you WONT get caught. Don't let them find out. Hide your shit better. Be more careful. After a while, they'll think you are naturally small. That way they will stop hounding you to gain weight.

Ohh dear.
What did she find??

Stay strong girrl..x

:o  

lotss of loveexxx

what did she find?

x

Stay Strong! I'm here for you. You're not alone. x

aww, it's okay. i'm not going to say we all have our days, cause this is definitely more than a bad day.

do you have asthma? or do you know what caused it? cause if it was just stress you really should take a few days off from school and just relax. that much stress is really bad.

hope it gets better :)

cool
do you mind if i use some to stay strong?

stay strong
much love Amanda xxx

love the picture,mind if i save it?

i tell myself a list like yours all day long. it's nice to know i'm not alone.

hey!

thanks ive missed you too!

hmmm. Your in a well difficult position i can tell.

and yeah ive been there.

i actually dont know what you could do.

purge? but thats bad news. i'd suggest not doing that.

yeah why not just have the slimfast  in the morning and then write down aload of lies about what else you eat??

like umm..  write to your coach saying you had slimfast for breakfast and then you had soup aand bread and then a chocolate bar and get the choclate bar and throw it in the bin and keep the wrapper to show?

also you should exercise the slimfast off....

then you'll be fine!

i know its so hard.

right now its so hard.

im at the library and i know when i get home my mums made me tea :(

ive been a big failiure the past couple of days..probably because im on my period and whatever.

but yeah.

good luck. i hope ive helped.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

xx

Oh my god! I am so sorry. I hope everything turns out okay. An you make it threw this tyme period.
Much LoVE ~Amber

just try to eat the safe foods in front of her.

as for your drill coach, make sure she wouldn't talk to your mom and make sure the stories add up or whatever.

or a good tip is to make it look like you have a lot of food on your plate, but only have a little, eat some and then when there is still some left, she won't wonder why you didn't eat all of it, cause she knew there was "a lot" of food on your plate anyway.

and she'll be happy cause she will have seen you eat "a whole plate"

good luck :)

u could probably be like ok mom imma try..buti ahve to do it on my time on my own so it works and its effective
and like go to mcdonalds and buy something off the dollar menue..throw it away but accidently keep the wraper or something
or like eat a lil in front of her and be like im eating or something

its so hard i kno

ermm well it was kinda a half binge on 'healthy' stuff,
but the cals like add up to less than 1700cals

:S

[Juicyx]

Long time no speak tbh,

you really dont need to lose anymore weight my dear,
really,
honestly.

how much do u eat now?  like in a day?

ps.  i am tryin to stop ana now, well i say try, cause i just cant till im skinny, but i am tryin, but i dunno if i will stop, i am very confused tbh,     are you ever on msn girl??

ilyxxx

thanks for this honey!

it is needed!

alot.

I weighed myself at the weekend, and oh my god, I'm in real need of help from all ana's.

I weighed 149 lbs

*cries*

I've put on like a stone!

and I don't even know how it happened.

thinspo needed.

shame about your hair though, i didn't know that could happen.

xx

I read in a magazine that they were testing a cellulose pill that expands in the stomach, did they put that on the market already?  What's it called?!  I want to get my hands on some of those. 

There are great hair/skin/nails vitamins they sell at puritanspride.com. 

tht sux about ur hair falling out.  i usually will be doing great then i get scared about my hair falling out. so if u could get some tips on preventing the hair loss it would rock.

see ya lata

~tay

i've read through some of your posts and the things you write r very touching

[:

those bastards.  they dnt kno i freaking thing. 

also in some of ur past entries i read tht u were raped.  I was like i was too.  I was raped this past january and thought i was preg.  so scary.  i feel so alienated from that.  n i read most girls who are raped are ordinary.  i was like f**k no.  ill be friends wit ana/mia again

Hey add me i am new but i have read a lot of ur entries.

also for those who write neg stuff about this: dnt read it if ur gonna be rude

You need protein.  If you can, just boil some boneless skinless chicken breast, no fat in that.  Good luck to you sweetie.

~Tons of love

don't be so hard on yourself.

if your hair is falling out, that means you are loosing.

do you still get periods? you don't have to answer if you don't want. i'm just curious.

Ahhh! I get soo inspired! :D

Add me?

I need help! LOl* Wanna be skinny!!!!

hey I 'm just looking for ana buddies and advice I really like your diary pages I just started mine so thers not much to look at.

how tall are you what is age wieght and hieght if you don't mind me asking.

Damn... see that's what my family's like. I can't stand it.
I do NOT want to be a fat ass my whole life. It's kinda good
havin a fat family tho, kinda makes you feel good bout yourself
an makes you not to look like that. God I would KILL if I was
to let myself look like that. ~Love

Hi my name is brealyne I joined this site to write about my life not to be judged. I'v been ana sence I was thirteen I want to talk to people who understand me and I'd like to join so let me know.

brealyne 

Good lord girl, take it easy on yourself!  How do you do it?  You're very strong.  I want to say be careful, but ya know....  Hope you have a nice weekend.

~Tons of love

• wake up (late)
• go to sch
• get annoyed, fake a smile, mess up a lesson at sch
• walk home
• binge
• purge - even though i'm trying to get of mia
  
• 'give up' (sometimes cut)
• talk to my friends and how i can't do this
• get annoyed
• cry myself to sleep

i updated with lots of new great thinsporations if u want to check it out. 

wich laxitives do u use. i have tried several different kinds and so far none of them have worked.

Yes.  And I envy your strength.

<3

mann, i know how you feel. except i have been feeling awful all week and ate (since monday) pretty much soup broth and like 3 pieces of toast (no butter). i lost weight. but then yesterday came and i went out with my friends and had pizza. then when i got home i made some beefaroni but had a bite and then something inside me told me that i was weak and disgusting and i threw it out in the trash.

Go you on the pound :)

i am actuallly sooo jealous of you.

lots of loveeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxx

Good luck with it all.
An lucky for me I got my period too :|

I want to look like the second one up ^_^ lol
(or last shick) [now SHE is hott]

That title is my life.  You'll get past those three pounds and lose even more, I know you will.

<3

Yeah, that is such a fun song :)  That one girl, she's just...I wouldn't mind looking like that.  At least you are making progress, I need to.  And you always weigh more when it's that time of the month, which sucks.  Good luck to you, try to be careful.

~Tons of love

i'm scared for you

i think you need help

cool, thanks :) i don't knowif i can wake up for a 3 1/2 hr drill practice cause i already get up at like 6. so yeah, don't really wanna get up at 2:30 am. but i totally agree about school, about the fat and skinny kids. and also, eating makes you feel fat. anyway, please read my new entry (called HELP!) cause i really need advice.

I totally agree about breakfast!

The fact that it slows down your metabolism acctually motivates me because I think if I eat anything it'll be calories x 2.

Woo for diet drinks! My Diet Pepsi is what gets me through the day!

Stay.strong.starve.on.=]

Muchlove...<3

i love you muchly :)

but you are like thinspo, you areeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i hate fat,
so please swap bodies with me,
thinspo much.

lovexx

You should put some pics of you up again,
i wanna see how skinny you are now lol,

i need control,  i wish i had yours :)

xxx

wow the difference in those pics is amazing
it proves that you do look much better thinner

stay strong
much love Amanda xxx

i liked that little poem thing. did you write it?

and the thinspo was awesome. i liked the before/after pic of the girls thighs. that just makes me wanna stay motivated.

and thanks for the exercise tip. i think i will try joining a dance team, it sounds fun.

i hate being stuck in the 120 range!! the 10s sound so much better, don't they?

what are some ways that you exercise?

i mean, i run sometimes (but hate running), use our gym (but that gets boring sometimes), bike ride (i like that lately. i live in florida and now tht the weather is cooling off i can ride again), or dance around my room.

but do you do anything that is different but birns lots of calories? something effectlive, but not that same old routine?

i've been looking for a fun way to exercise.

With your height, I am so afraid that if you get down to 85lbs you will die.  Sweetie, that is scary, but just know no matter what I am here for you.

~Tons of love

aww huni i can relate
bout the eatting triggering binges
my parents are finally off my back
a bit but i still have to be careful

stay strong
much love Amanda xxx

usually if you are 16 or up they'll let you do be together cause 2 years is like regular time.

and listen to fuck the popo by corey smith. i have only found it on youtube, so you should listen to it. it can probably relate.

Thanks :)

And police should do one...

loveexxx

proud of you girl!!!

i bet they're all real jealous of you, I bet you look like a real goddess now!

well done :)

xx

Oh ok, thanks for telling me.

<3

Ah yes milk of magnesia is a miracle worker, I should know I use it often.  I wonder...what are those fat free candies you eat?  I want some =)  Take care, congrats on making your goal sweetie.

<3